Christmas joys and blessings

A belated Merry Christmas to you all! It certainly has been a crazy year for us, but we are so blessed that it really did go as smoothly as it did. I haven’t been updating on here as much as I should, and for that I really do apologize.  The girls, projects, Christmas, has kept me quite busy.

So for a quick update on the girls: well, they are still pretty small.  Weight gain has by far been our hardest battle.  Last time we weighed the girls a week ago Eva was finally over 14 lbs, and Abigail was over 12 lbs.  Those are good numbers for us! The big challenge isn’t necessarily to get them to eat more volume-wise, it’s to fit more calories into what they WILL eat. We’ve had a pediatric nutritionist sit down with us and go over everything we can do to add calories…I think I’ve gone through more olive oil by adding it to the girls’ food than I normally use when cooking! It’s actually these added calories that have really spurted the weight gain to become quicker than it has been in the past.  And truthfully, the girls are very very healthy for being so premature. Our doctor has reiterated this over and over. They are just small, which according to recent articles on preemies is pretty normal for babies born so early.  Kevin and I will just have very petite daughters. It certainly comes in handy whenever I need to pick up both girls simultaneously. 🙂

Both girls still receive physical therapy on a regular basis, although we suspect Eva may not need it much longer. I was hoping she would be walking by Christmas, but she is just so darn cautious! She just needs a little confidence that she can do it, because we think she certainly can.  And Abigail can sit up on her own now.  She’s still quite a bit delayed, but the physical therapist believes a lot of it is due to her small size and slow weight gain, and not something like cerebral palsy.  And boy, is she a talker!  She just loves to gab and chatter away.  She’s actually right on target for her adjusted age on everything except gross motor skills (sitting, crawling, walking, etc.) and she will catch up eventually.

We are once again on “lockdown” for the winter because of RSV, although thankfully it isn’t nearly as bad this year as it was last year.  The girls can leave the house and go to other homes, they just can’t be around any kids or sick adults this winter (although we did make an exception for Christmas, as long as both families were healthy…and they were.)  It’s been a little hard to be stuck home all day every day as my mom was sick for a while…it took it’s toll on me last week as I had some breathing issues and wound up in the ER.  My doctor and the ER staff don’t know why I was having trouble, but we are all starting to suspect that the stress is doing some dirty work to me physically, although mentally I really don’t feel stressed at all.  For those of you who knew me in high school, THAT was ten times worse than what I call “stress” now! I think the Lord has mellowed me considerably since then, but perhaps my lungs don’t agree.  Nevertheless, we are working on ways to help alleviate that a little for both Kevin and myself. Thankfully, this should be the last winter we have to do this.  The girls have done so well health-wise and we certainly don’t want to play Russian roulette with their health.

Below are some pictures of the girls from this winter and Christmas Eve.  I will be posting another blog soon about a Christmas present I did for my mom and mother-in-law for all you DIY crafters and Pinterest lovers out there.  I’m quite proud how it turned out and the final project was born in my head while in the shower one day.  I’m just glad all my sisters-in-law trusted me enough to do this! Oh, and the video below is of Abigail…I know I posted on Facebook that my girls must be Beatlemaniacs like myself because “na na na” is obviously from “Hey, Jude,” but I actually was able to catch Abigail on video singing it while it was playing!! I can’t tell you how excited that made me. 🙂

 

Eva is so silly wearing her toys!

Eva rides her princess car!

Future readers, thank goodness

Dressed up on Halloween in mommy's and Uncle Adam's old costumes

Giggle Abigail

Eva loves looking out the window

Eva with a bow on her forehead

What's that stuck to my head??

Abigail plays with Auntie Sarah

I don't know what face Eva is making

Eva's first music lesson...won't be the last. 🙂

Abigail sits up to play

Eva would NOT let go of Uncle Adam for anything in the world

The best pose of all three grandkids

Who doesn't love a head massage? Don't stop, Aunt Pam.

Hosanna gives Uncle Kevin a hug for the first time in two years!!

 

Busy as bees!

Hello, everyone! I’m sure my blogs will be much shorter from here on out since my free time has been considerably reduced. But all of my babies are asleep (Kevin included) so I have a few minutes to spare. 🙂

Most of you know the girls came home last week. We were able to practice what things were going to be like for one night at the hospital. Needless to say, we didn’t get much sleep. We dutifully awoke every three hours to feed the girls and give them the slew of medicines they still need to take. Plus the day before we were rushed through a whirlwind of instructions on how to operate the oxygen tanks, apnea monitors, and nebulizer the girls were coming home with. Just a side note to you all…if you can possibly avoid using Apria for home medical equipment, please do so. I’m still waiting for equipment that was promised to us almost two weeks after we’ve brought the girls home. They don’t even have the Tendergrip stickers for their faces to keep the cannulas on! I’m a bit disgruntled to say the least.

So now that we are home, things are still very hectic. But we are home! The first few days were pretty rough as we weren’t getting much sleep at all as we got up every three hours to feed the girls and give them their meds. Such is life with a baby, right? And we have it times two! But the girls have been growing nicely, and our home healthcare nurse told us that because they’ve reached the 8 lb. mark we can let them sleep for a little longer at night. They’ve been putting away four to five hour stretches at night! So now we feel much better, although the occasional nap is still a must. 🙂 Plus my mother-in-law has come over quite a bit to help out as we try to get into a rhythm, and both my father-in-law and my dad have brought us meals so I don’t have to worry about how I’m going to get Kevin and myself fed. Most of my “cooking” at this point has been the girls’ bottles. I joked with Kevin’s mom yesterday that I thought I had been done with chemistry in high school! I’m certainly doing a lot of math in my head as I figure out the ratio of milk to formula plus the rice cereal that gets added, not to mention all the meds that have to get mixed and administered. Science was never my best subject but I don’t think I’ve messed anything up yet. 🙂

The girls have adjusted to being home very well. They sleep a lot. We have a swing we regularly put Abigail in since she is the more fussy of the two, and it seems to calm her down very well. Eva has been having some feeding issues, and me being the paranoid mother that I am have called the doctor several times about it. When the girls were still in the NICU they had a ph probe done to determine the severity of their reflux. The gastroenterologist evaluated the data and determined they had borderline reflux (whatever that means) and called it negative. So he took them off the Prevacid, and silly us, we thought the MD after his name meant he knew what he was doing. I’d like to invite him to come clean up all the puke that Eva has dealt us and then have him tell us she doesn’t have reflux. It’s ridiculous. I called our pediatrician and after describing her history and current symptoms she determined it was likely reflux and put her back on the Prevacid. Abigail hasn’t been having the feeding issues (yet) so she’s not on the Prevacid. But Eva has been incredibly fussy during feedings, refusing to eat at times, which scares me to death. Otherwise she’s a very good baby. But she’s still eating and gaining weight so we haven’t had to panic yet. And speaking of weight, Abigail now outweighs Eva. When you see them both side-by-side it isn’t much of surprise; Abigail is decidedly the chunkier baby. Anyway, I currently blame Eva’s feeding problems on the Enfacare formula that the hospital dietitian switched the girls to the day we left the hospital. Again, not the smartest thing these people have done. Ugh.

We miss our nurses very much! But we are so glad to be home. So here are some pictures of our journey home, plus our first few days as full time parents! Ok, I gotta run…time to get the bottles ready again and change some diapers!

A big day for us...leaving the hospital!

Bye bye Morgan; we'll miss you taking care of us!

In the same crib...finally!

All dressed up in our homecoming outfits

Mommy cuddling both girls...still a bit hard with all of the wires and equipment. 🙂

Eva and Daddy watching either hunting or the Lobos smash BYU; I can't remember which.

This is one of my favorites!

Bath time for Miss Eva!

All clean, Mommy!

Abigail still doesn't like baths.

But she's much happier getting dried!

Getting a nap in whenever we can. 🙂

Crib time!

Daddy helped me find my thumb

They are finally here!

We made it! I thought I’d go ahead and post another update since obviously our status has changed completely within the past 24 hours. And many of you already know that by now. But I do want to write some of this stuff down for 1) honesty and 2) posterity. I still haven’t changed my mind that other women need to know some of the real deal about this thing we call pregnancy, and now I’m including delivery. 🙂 Plus it is a welcome distraction to write this since I’m in a fair amount of pain and the morphine has worn off.

Every day that we have been here we have gotten confirmation through daily ultrasounds and monitoring that both girls were just doing so excellently well, not to mention a few words from the Holy Spirit that He was taking care of our daughters. Believe me, sometimes we had to cling to those things. Anyway, earlier this week we had a new perinatologist come in and give us his opinion based on his medical expertise and experience that we wouldn’t make it much further in this pregnancy. He specifically said we would be lucky to make it another week, simply because the bleeding was such an abnormal thing that he was greatly concerned about. It had been treated too casually and had simply gone on for too long. And he was right. I had bled consistently every night for about four weeks, and this wasn’t just light spotting. So I gave the news to everyone and was trying to mentally get ready for an eventful week. Plus, I felt like this was just one way that God was hinting that the pregnancy would soon be over. A couple of times throughout this last week during some heart monitoring sessions a couple of the nurses made comments that, “The girls both seem older than their actual gestational age.” When I asked them what they meant, I was told that babies at this stage have heart rates that are fairly stable, meaning they don’t really fluctuate greatly between 120-160 beats per minute. In fact, babies’ heart rates don’t really start to behave that way, accelerating and decelerating, until roughly 35 weeks along, and it basically has to do with how far their nervous systems had developed. I was stunned. Yes, the girls had gotten steroid shots to quicken their development but quite frankly, their hearts had always done that since they started getting monitored. The nurses’ comments were casually made, but me being a mother and a Christian “tucked all these things into my heart,” (Luke 2:51.) For me it was the Lord nudging me again and reminding me that these girls were not were not going to make it to term.

The next day we went and got our big level II ultrasound so we could get all the specific numbers on the girls, and, no surprise, they were doing great. They were doing so great that Dr. Aisenbrey said we might make it to 28 weeks after all. It was great news that we excitedly shared with many of you, but we weren’t forgetting all the little clues God had given us. Remember, He hadn’t revealed when the girls would come, just that they would probably be here early. So we spent the rest of the day just relaxing when I had another bleeding episode around 6:15 that evening. It wasn’t an abnormal amount, but remember the bleeding had occurred for four weeks at this point. And the amount was substantial enough that Dr. Gordon, who is a pretty laid back guy, felt the urgency to send us back to Labor and Delivery for the fourth time for constant monitoring of the girls. At least this time I got to take my own bed from Maternal Special Care with me, which was far more comfortable. 🙂 But constant monitoring makes for a sleepless night, and that in itself makes being in L&D no fun. Throughout the night I had a couple more bleeding episodes, which I informed the nurses of so they could document it for the doctors. Come the next morning (yesterday) Dr. Aisenbrey walked in and informed us that we were quickly approaching the point of no return. It was basically only a matter of time until I had an incredibly serious bleeding episode that would be detrimental to both me and the girls, and he felt we were only days away from that point. We could try and buy a couple more days and wait to deliver the girls since at this point every day counts, but if we took that gamble and lost we would also lose any days that we had tried to gain with the girls. And he also said no doctor would have a problem throwing in the towel at this point. But he did leave us with that choice, so Kevin and I discussed maybe trying to last one more day and seeing how it went. Then Dr. Gordon came in and told us our situation had been on his mind the previous night, so much so that he had lost sleep over it (it reminded me of Xerxes’ sleepless night in the book of Esther…isn’t it great how consistent God can be?) He strongly felt we needed to deliver the babies that day, and after consulting with Dr. Aisenbrey on the wisdom of that he informed us he wanted to set up a c-section for noon unless we strongly objected to it. And he said that waiting one more day wouldn’t be of much benefit to the girls. To have both doctors independently come to the conclusion that girls should be delivered that day was all we needed to hear, and we told him that he could go ahead and set up the surgery. We had already come to a peace about it several days prior, and Kevin made the point that trying to keep them in to avoid a long term disability was irrelevant since God has already determined the path they will walk. We let family know right away, and many of them came down to support us and pray with us and await the births of the two newest family members.

So I was soon whisked away and prepped for the c-section, and I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t a little scared about having the surgery. I wasn’t expecting it to go other than smoothly, but it was still something of a venture into the unknown, which can be daunting. The doctors and nurses were all incredibly patient with me, but my nerves did cause me to have a few more bleeding episodes, even one right on the operating table. Dr. Gordon started rushing to try and get the surgery started before it was too late, and all the bleeding episodes just prior to surgery were confirmations that Kevin and I had made the right decision to not put off delivery any further. As far as the c-section went, all I can say is it was a very odd experience. It’s true that they numb you up so well that you can’t feel any pain, but you do feel all of the tugging and pulling that goes on. And the anesthesia made me drowsy, but I was determined to stay awake. Kevin was an incredible support and just kept reassuring me the whole time. The anesthesiologist was standing right at my head and was able to tell us exactly what was going on, and they actually got both girls out very quickly. We heard Eva cry as she came out, and it was such a relief to hear it that I started to cry, too. Of course, the NICU doctors whisked them away before we could see them, but we had been expecting that so it wasn’t upsetting. Getting me sewn back up took longer and was an uncomfortable procedure, though it was never painful. Once they were done Dr. Gordon’s assistant told me I had a nice flat tummy again, and Dr. Gordon told us he was able to find out that Eva weighed 1 lb. 12 oz. and had Apgar scores of 8 and 9 and basically was breathing on her own, which almost never happens at her gestational age. He wasn’t able to find out Abigail’s since the NICU people kicked him out, but it was so great to hear that our daughter was doing so splendidly.

At that point I was whisked away to a recovery room, and not much happened other than a visit we got from one of the NICU doctors, who informed us that both girls were doing so well. We found out that Abigail weighed 1 lb. 4.8 oz., which means she didn’t gain as much as her sister, but it was still enough to ensure a better chance of survival. Of course, we already knew she would be okay. 🙂 I also got my first opportunity to pump, just to try and get my body started on making breast milk, even though the girls won’t be having that anytime soon. So after that I got wheeled away to see our daughters for the very first time. They are so precious! Still very small, but bigger than what I had pictured. And the nurses there reiterated how wonderfully both of them were doing, and that they had been quite active initially when brought in. All great news to our ears. Kevin managed to get one picture of each girl, and we passed them along to family. Then we got moved into our new room for post delivery and settled in. Dr. Gordon came to see us and just let us know with how pleased he was with how everything went. He also told us the NICU had informed him that Abigail had already made meconium and since that too is not something that typically happens for her gestational age it was probably an indication that she had swallowed some blood in utero and may have excreted it in her sac, which would have been extremely dangerous for her. So it was definitely the right decision to deliver when we did. After his visit we settled in to watch the Lobo basketball game (finally! Hooray!) when our nurse told us we would probably be able to make another visit to the NICU and see the girls if we so desired. We decided we wanted to see the girls again, and it would be a good opportunity to get me moving around, which I needed to start doing. But let me tell you, it was much harder than I anticipated. I was in an incredible amount of pain (even with morphine) and just making it across the room to a wheelchair was a Herculean effort. But I made it! Kevin wheeled me down and we got to see the girls again, and they are so tiny! The nurses said they are still doing fairly well; they will have ups and downs while still in the NICU but that there wasn’t anything alarming that was occurring. We didn’t stay too long since we were wiped, but it was just so nice to see them again. We came back, climbed into bed (which took me a while to say the least) and got some sleep. I didn’t get much because I’m still in quite a bit of pain, and it will definitely take me a while to recover. But Kevin is sleeping as I type this, so I’m glad he’s able to catch up.

I’m sure we will be seeing the girls again today. We are so blessed to call you all friends, and I’m not sure how well we would have fared if it hadn’t been for your thoughts and prayers. We give God all the glory for the safe delivery of these girls. They wouldn’t have stood a fighting chance without His hand involved in every step along the way. But He is good and faithful, and we are definitely blessed beyond measure. We wish we could open up visits to see the girls to everyone, but because that would greatly increase their risk of exposure to disease we have decided to allow only immediate family to see the girls at this time. And once we get them home we still have to limit who can see them for several months to prevent their immune systems from becoming compromised. I really hope it doesn’t offend anyone, and we ask for your patience on this while we get the girls good and healthy. I can’t wait to see their budding personalities and discover who they each will become. We love you all and are so blessed to call you friends. Thank you again!

A roller coaster ride it has been

Well, with all that’s been happening I guess I’ll be posting on here more often. This is just the easiest way for me to get word out to everyone about what has happened. It keeps me from having to tell the same long story over and over again, which in itself can be wearying. Suffice it to say that everything is good and stable for now, but these last 53 hours or so were certainly hectic and a little scary.

On Tuesday night/Wednesday morning I had a significant amount of blood loss, which puzzled us since I had experienced absolutely none the night before. I wasn’t concerned, but I’m not a doctor and losing about 250 cc’s worth of blood is apparently a lot. So after I sent Kevin to work on Wednesday morning our doctor came in and said that he was moving me back to labor and delivery for constant monitoring. I was not thrilled with the idea since I had been so miserable last time I was there, but a good mother makes sacrifices for her children, so back I went. I finished off breakfast reluctantly (thank goodness I did!) and got settled. One of the perinatologists, Dr. Ruma, came in and updated me on the gravity of the situation: I had lost enough blood to concern them greatly, and if it continued to happen then into the OR I would go for them to deliver the girls. Obviously it was way sooner than we wanted our girls to come. The chances of survival are not that great, and the possibility of a long term disability manifesting itself is greater at an earlier gestational age. And the biggest shame is that the girls are doing fantastic; it’s just mommy that’s causing all of the problems now. We get daily ultrasounds (called BPPs, or Biophyical Profiles) and each one shows how well the girls are doing. Oh, and by the way, we got some approximate weights on the girls during our big ultrasound on Tuesday. Abigail weighs about 562 grams (1 lb 4 oz) and Eva weighs 672 grams (1 lb 8 oz.), both way above what the NICU considers to be the cutoff for survival, which is 400 grams. That was music to our ears, and another reassurance that our girls are just developing wonderfully. What can I say? We serve a good and faithful God. 🙂

Since there was a concern that I would have to get a cesarean I was restricted to a clear liquid diet: water, sprite, jello, juice, and chicken broth. And believe it or not that was actually the easy part of my time in labor and delivery! I was put back on the monitors so they could watch the girls’ heart rates and my contractions 24/7, and THAT’S when things get uncomfortable. There is no moving when the monitors are on. No shifting from side to side, absolutely nothing, or else they will lose the heartbeats and then the nurses have to trudge back in and find them again. Thankfully almost every nurse we had was awesome and really did everything they could to make me comfortable, but once again my back was killing me within hours. Visitors helped to make the time pass (both my niece and nephew were brought by for a visit, and they were quite entertaining!) but it was still a little rough. Anyway, having all those monitors hooked up to my belly and being uncomfortable did not make for a restful night. To add to that around 5:30 in the morning the night nurse walked in and told me I had been having contractions for the past hour every 2-4 minutes. Yikes! I had felt them, but there was no pain associated with them, so I didn’t know what to think. With a high risk twin pregnancy one can never be too cautious, and they definitely wanted to make sure I wasn’t going into labor. I wasn’t, and the cause of the contractions was all the bleeding I had been having, so none of the doctors were too surprised but they still weren’t happy with everything that was going on. They decided to put me on magnesium sulfate to stop the contractions, and if you’ve never been on that stuff I seriously hope and pray you don’t have to. You basically feel like you’ve got the flu while you’re on it, especially for the first 20 minutes when they give you the high dose. It was yucky stuff, and Dr. Ruma came in later and told me he would have me taken off in a few hours. Unfortunately he was overruled by the OB, and my magnesium sulfate misery lasted until about 4:00 this morning when I woke up with some difficulty breathing. Until that time I was out of it. My mom told me later it was if I had been drunk. People came in and poke and prodded me, had loud conversations and I missed all of it. And not to mention that I emotionally lost it a couple of times. I consider myself to be a strong person (though Kevin calls me Fix Or Repair Daily every time I tell him I’m built Ford tough) but it was starting to get to me. Me being out of it for half of the day is the only thing that made my day bearable. I actually found out this morning that my clear liquid diet had been cancelled yesterday morning and the nurse just never bothered to check it. Good thing she wasn’t here this morning because I actually may have chewed her out for putting me through more agony for an extra 24 hours!

So to wrap things up, once they took me off the magnesium sulfate I started to feel much better. I was able to get up and use the restroom (for anyone who has read the Hiding Place, the restroom was to me what the fleas were to Corrie Ten Boom; thank God for the fleas!) instead of being restricted to a bed pan, and I got to eat real food again! I’m still having some bleeding, but it’s considerably less than what I was experiencing on Tuesday night. I’m now back in a regular room, although they kicked us out of the room with a double bed. I’m gonna have to fight for that one tomorrow. If I do happen to have another night of heavy bleeding they will still go ahead and deliver the girls, because it won’t do anyone much good to have me in peril; the girls and Kevin all need me to be healthy. If we do end up having to deliver early and the girls have problems later on then we are confident that God has given us the strength to deal with that. Having worked with Deaf kids I know that having kids with difficulties like that is not the end of the world. Some of the greatest kids I know have “disabilities” and believe me, parents can underestimate how much those kinds of kids are capable of. And long term disabilities could mean something as trifling as asthma. We have so many people praying for these girls, and several of them feel like the Holy Spirit has given them confirmation that Eva and Abigail are going to be okay, although what that exactly means still remains hidden. God usually doesn’t show His children the whole plan, but usually it’s just the next step, just to keep our own faith strong. I personally feel like this is going to be a rough time that will ultimately allow God to manifest His glory. It’s all in His hands anyway, and we are confident that God has already done and will continue to do good works through our daughters. I want to reiterate that I love having visitors come, but in light of the past few days it would probably be best if people contact me or Kevin first before coming down. That way no one will go to the wrong room, or come at a time when I’m completely exhausted and incoherent and probably not the best conversationalist. I do want to thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. The Bible promises that, “Where two or more are gathered in my my name, there I will be among them,” (Matthew 18:20.) How can these girls not be in His care when so many people are lovingly putting them before Him? And just know that Kevin and I love you all. We may not know you, but we love you all and are glad you love us and our daughters enough to be there for us in small ways. We are just thanking God for every day that the girls stay in the “oven,” because it means that much more of an opportunity for their success. Thank you all.

Now at the hospital!

Update update….so we are all checked into the hospital now. The reason we are here is because they want to not only monitor the girls but they want to monitor me as well. When we saw the perinatologist on Wednesday, he actually said the girls were doing well enough that he didn’t see the need to put me in the hospital yet. That was until I told him about the bleeding. It put a whole new spin on things. Although the bleeding hasn’t been excessive, it has been nightly. So he basically gave me a day to wrap up some things, and after visiting our OB we were sent directly to the hospital to check in. So here I am! And I’m determined to make the best of it. I’m hoping to be here for a couple of months, because the longer I’m here means the longer the girls stay in me, and the healthier they, get, too. A nurse told me today to think of it as one day in the womb is two less days they will have to spend in the NICU. I love that family has promised to spend lots of time here to help alleviate the boredom, because I’m pretty much stuck in bed until the girls arrive. The days may get a little long.

After talking to another one of the perinatologists (there are a total of five that we will be seeing) it looks like I’ll be getting daily ultrasounds, and I really have to be careful about what my body is doing. Any contractions, heavy bleeding, any changes and I need to let someone know right away. As I said in an earlier post, the girls will be delivered by a caesarean, and Kevin and I are in agreement that whatever needs to be done for the safety of the girls is what we will do. Every measurement we get on them shows that Eva’s fluid levels are at a normal level, and Abigail’s is still below 3 cm. But at least they are stable! The doctors are still calling it Stage 1 for TTTS, but the one we saw today said the stability of it gives her a good feeling that we will go at least a minimum of another month. We could even make it to 34 weeks, which would be absolutely wonderful. Of course, I’ll be huge at that point, but it’s a small price to pay for two healthy daughters! 🙂

We have had quite an adventure since we’ve arrived here. The first night they put us in a room with only one bed, so Kevin had to use the pull out bed from the chair in the room to sleep. And I’m told it was pretty uncomfortable. So the staff here was incredibly nice and moved us into a room with two beds. Kevin was very much looking forward to having a good night’s sleep. And then I had a bleeding episode that seemed normal to me, but the nurses deemed to be problematic. So I spent last night in Labor and Delivery so they could monitor the girls all night. It was pretty uncomfortable for us both. Poor Kevin had to sleep on the couch in the room. I had to sleep in the same position all night (by this morning my back was killing me because I couldn’t move all night long) hooked up to an IV and several monitors, and nurses came in every couple of hours to check up on things. We had a rough night and got very little sleep, and we are definitely hoping we don’t have to do that again! The nice thing is they said the girls looked great all night. We found out that at 24 weeks it’s next to impossible to get both heartbeats found, and yet they were able to for Abigail and Eva. So God has really had His hand on them, and for that we are thankful. Every ultrasound shows us that they aren’t having any major problems, and as long as they are healthy and I am healthy we will just deal with the bleeding for now. Now that I’m on modified bed rest we are hoping the bleeding will stop soon.

I can’t thank everyone enough for your prayers, support, and encouragement. So many people have invested in these two little girls that I’ve been truly touched. People at work have been phenomenally understanding and generous. Friends and family have already stopped by to visit. I have six doctors who easily have over 100 years of experience between them with their watchful eyes on our daughters. The nursing staff here has been so friendly and accomodating that things have been remarkably easier for us. And last but certainly not least, my husband has been a trouper for this whole thing. I’m very glad me being here takes a huge weight off his shoulders, but him working and spending the rest of his time here has got to be hard. Plus he still has to take care of things at home. And if it’s going to be a while before anything happens then I can only imagine how wearying it will be on him. I’m really blessed with such a great man.

I suspect our stay here at the hospital will be somewhat eventful. Hopefully not too much so! If anyone wants to visit please let me know. I will be here 24/7 so visitors are always welcome. Much love to everyone. I can’t wait for you all to meet our girls.

If only Eve hadn’t eaten the fruit

Well, for most of you reading this it will come as no surprise that Kevin and I are expecting a baby. I know I set up this blog to keep everyone updated as to what is going on with us, and heaven knows I have certainly had plenty of time to do so during these past two months. So here it is, folks! And I hope it’s informative and entertaining at the same time.

When I saw the little positive on the home pregnancy test the week after we moved into our new home I was shocked, in disbelief, and excited. Yes, this one is planned, but I didn’t think it would happen so soon! But I also know God is sovereign and He has deemed this as part of our path, and quite honestly it couldn’t have happened at a better time. So for the first week and a half, I excitedly announced our news and waited for the next stage of this wild ride. Since that time, I have become convinced that when God cursed Eve with painful labor for eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil He also cursed her and every woman after her with the rough nine months that precede it. Now, I don’t have any biblical support for this, so theologians, just hold your horses. I’m merely stating an opinion.

Ever since I got married, I have felt truly blessed to be a part of the sisterhood of wives and mothers. However, I have also felt like I have been going through required initiation rituals that leave new members like myself in a state of confusion while more experienced members just sit back, watch and smile. For example, no one told me that it would be a huge hassle to change my last name, let alone that the first step in that process is to go to the local social security office. Nobody told me that upon pregnancy my hyper-sensitive nose would catch a whiff of McDonalds as I simply drive by and immediately cause my tummy to react. Nobody told me that morning sickness nausea meant that you’re actually SUPPOSED to eat something to make it go away (no longer applicable to me at this point since it’s a chore to just get food down.) I’m determined to put an end to all the secrecy RIGHT NOW, and that’s one reason I’m choosing to post on this blog again. Hey, no one said I was shy and modest. Give me the the truth on this one. 🙂

I know it sounds like I just ranted and raved, but truthfully I have a wonderful mother and mother-in-law who regularly check in on me to make sure I’m ok, as well as cook some meals for me since the smell of food cooking sends me running for the bathroom, and I think Kevin is starting to get a little tired of Taco Bell. Not to mention a couple of sisters-in-law that text me to encourage me and give me advice as they both just went through their fourth pregnancies. One of them sent me a great book: “Pregnancy Sucks.” I immediately read it because I felt so akin to the title! So I’m not muddling through this entirely on my own. But my poor husband has certainly had to deal with. Lot from me already, and I haven’t even really had an episode of random crying yet. Won’t that be fun?

Since I’m almost 12 weeks I haven’t had too many symptoms to share yet. Just nausea, exhaustion, headaches, and a distaste for certain foods (I can’t emphasize enough how much I miss cheese right now.)  And so far the only thing that has quelled the nausea enough for me to get some nutrition down to the little lime (I’m comparing the baby to fruit until we find out the gender) is peppermint. You know, the cheap candies they give you at restaurants when they bring you the check. Also peppermint tea (herbal, caffeine free.) I know this stuff doesn’t work for everyone but I’m just throwing the info out there.  

On a positive note, I will be celebrating my one year anniversary in exactly one month. A lot has certainly happened and I wouldn’t change a thing. Every time I bow over the porcelain throne I say a prayer of thanks and tell myself, “It’s a good thing, it’s a good thing…” If you find yourself in my position someday, remember, it’s a good thing!